


You Only Die Once

by consumptive_sphinx



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: 9 ways like 9 fellowship members like 9 fingers like 9 nazgûl, Angst, F/M, Gen, M/M, Many AUs, Multi, Not internally consistent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-02
Updated: 2014-06-07
Packaged: 2018-02-03 04:32:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1731221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/consumptive_sphinx/pseuds/consumptive_sphinx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Legolas survives, and lives a relatively happy ending in the Undying Lands.</p><p>Here are nine ways that that didn't happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The boy was stillborn.

 

If he had lived, he would have been named Legolas. Green Leaf, it meant, a symbol of Mirkwood’s renewal at Sauron’s defeat.

 

But he hadn’t, and he wasn’t.


	2. Rule of Threes

If Lannian had survived childbirth, Legolas would have grown up loved and cherished, with a warm and supportive father, a caring mother.

 

Lannian died due to complications in the birth. Legolas survived.

 

And from the moment of Lannian’s final breath, Thranduil hated the child who had killed his wife.

 

* * *

 

A human being can go for three minutes without air, three days without water, three weeks without food, and three years without love. An Elf can go for ten times that long.

 

At the age of thirty years, two months, and nine days, Legolas son of Thranduil faded from the world, starved to death from lack of love. Human eyes would have thought him four years old.

 

* * *

 

The people of Mirkwood mourned. Thranduil did not.

 


	3. Chapter 3

It was nearing sundown, and Legolas had not returned. 

 

For most of the day Galion hadn't thought that anything was wrong. Legolas was as drawn to the forest as any of the Silvans in his kingdom, and a day spent exploring was not out of character. 

 

But. 

 

It was nearing sundown, and Legolas had not returned. 

 

And every elfling in Mirkwood knew:  _get home before nightfall._

 

* * *

 

It took slightly longer than twenty minutes for Galion to find any trace of the Prince. 

 

The trace that Galion found was a body lying bent and broken in a clearing, a pair of blueish puncture wounds on his collarbone.

 

"Legolas..." The name emerged a choked whisper as Galion slid off of his horse. "Legolas!"

 

The body lay limp, fitting into Galion's arms like it had been made to belong there.

 

The horse knew that way back home. It was Legolas's corpse, rather than the reins, that Galion clung to.

 

* * *

 

"Galion." His liege's voice would have been described as calm by most, but Galion had known Thranduil long enough to hear the worry there.

 

The name was enough; the question didn't need to be asked. "I have him," he replied, unable to keep his voice from cracking as he laid down Legolas's body.

 

The icy king's mask that Thranduil habitually wore slipped, fell, and shattered into a thousand tiny pieces. "No," he whispered, sinking to his knees beside Legolas. "Please, no."

 

Galion knelt beside him, took his hand, and said nothing. Some things were better left unsaid.


	4. No Escape From the Storm

The winter was long and cold, nowhere more so than in Mirkwood, and while the cold didn't bother Elves, starvation did.

 

There was nowhere near enough food. The animals and plants that made up their usual diet had all been killed by the frost, and their supplies of lembas were barely enough for half of Mirkwood's population. 

 

And now, in the bitterest, harshest days of winter, they had nothing left.

 

* * *

 

Galion, servant of Thranduil, was the first to fall.

 

Tauriel, captain of the Mirkwood Guard, was the second.

 

Legolas, youngest of the four princes, was the third.

 

Saelbeth, advisor to the King, was fourth and last.


	5. Wrath and Ruin

_"Do not speak to me of dragon's fire. I know its wrath and ruin!"_

 

* * *

 

Fire danced on the surface of the lake, crackling maliciously as Laketown crumbled and collapsed beneath Smaug's ire.

 

Legolas was in the midst of the chaos, firing arrow after arrow, all of them glancing off the dragon's mithril-hard scales.

 

He could do nothing to save them, not with all his years and all his training.

 

* * *

 

The wood that made up Laketown came from trees long dead.

 

But Legolas was a thing of the forest too.

 

And living trees still burn.


	6. Candle

Lindir's hand lay heavy and warm on Thranduil's shoulder.

 

It was an attempt at comfort, well-meant if futile, and so he didn't push it away. Instead he stared blankly back into the worried grey eyes, listening to the words over and over as they ran through his head like a broken record.

 

His sweet, gentle son. If he hadn't been so talented with a bow he would have trained as a healer; he rarely spoke, but never stopped smiling.

 

Legolas had shone so brightly.

 

And then the battle of Pelennor Fields had snuffed out that light.

 

It had been as easy as pinching out a candle - it had been an arrow, of all things -

 

He laid his head on Lindir's shoulder and allowed the tears to silently fall.

 

* * *

 

Thranduil wore mourning black for the rest of his life.


	7. Promise

I promised Aragorn I would not sail while he yet lived.

 

I promised Gimli I would travel Arda at his side.

 

I promised.

* * *

 

I hear the waves crash on the shore. The Sea is leagues away, but its sound is ever in the back of my mind. I cannot sleep; the Sea is too loud.

 

Gimli has noticed that something is wrong, but he does not know what. I do not tell him.

 

Aragorn yet lives. I cannot sail.

 

I promised.

* * *

I travel on my own now that Gimli has returned home. I do not go to Mirkwood - Eryn Lasgalen now - it is too still. The ocean would catch me there.

 

Instead I run, I climb, I hunt. But I cannot escape forever. The ocean is calling and I cannot answer.

 

I promised. 

* * *

And perhaps I ran a bit too fast, climbed a bit too high. No one was there, no one can say. I cannot say. I am dead, neck twisted and snapped at the base of the Gorge of Rohan.

 

Perhaps it was an accident; perhaps it was not. Perhaps I did not mean to jump; perhaps I did.

 

No one was there, no one can say.

* * *

 

The Sea does not call me here, in the Halls of Waiting.

 

I kept my promise. I did not sail.

 

I am at peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can choose to interpret this any way you want, because I left it open ended on purpose - Legolas is so broken that he himself doesn't know. But I thought of it as suicide.


	8. Love You To Death

Even in Valinor, a mortal's life cannot last forever.

 

Twenty-seven years and four months after he and Legolas sailed, Gimli son of Gloin died of old age.

 

"I love you." They were his last words, a final goodbye.

 

Legolas squeezed his hand. "I love you, Gimli-nin," he said, eyes welling with tears. "Goodbye."

 

* * *

 

A mortal can die of a broken neck. A mortal can die of a broken skull. A mortal can die of broken lungs.

 

But only an Elf can die of a broken heart.

 

* * *

 

Five months after Gimli's death, Legolas son of Thranduil died of grief.

 

It had not been thought possible to fade in Valinor.


	9. Forever and a Day

It is impossible to fade in Valinor, even if one very much wants to.

 

Legolas had thought that the Undying Lands would bring healing. But he was wrong.

 

* * *

 

He could not fade, so he lived on.

 

He hid the flashbacks.

 

(calm on the outside always calm but underneath so much fear so much pain)

 

(no one sees no one knows)

 

(we all see what we expect to see they expect a hero but you're not a hero are you you're just a pathetic broken shell maybe you were a hero once but not anymore now you lie and hide behind your mask at least you admit it to yourself if no one else)

 

He drugged himself to sleep.

 

(couldn't wake up couldn't move couldn't scream)

 

(but still couldn't rest)

 

He studied under Lord Elrond, training to be a healer.

 

(had enough of battle and war and death)

 

(wanted to mend instead of breaking)

 

(that's all you do you only break you never mend could you do it if you tried? i don't think so you're a fighter through and through and you can run all you want hide all you want but you'll never escape yourself)

 

It wasn't enough.

 

* * *

 

It wasn't enough.

 

He lived for eternity and experienced every day to its fullest.

 

It was never enough.


End file.
